I really hated it when people even reluctant to be assessed for memory. Let alone refuse. A malay man refused after much coercion and i felt so annoyed and walked away like that. Wasting my freaking time. What is wring with people i just need to ask to know how your memory is. Not asking you kn rocket science. This is why this country is still backwards. When the poeple still afraid on new things. I bet even my parents will do the same. I hope that the new generation will be much more accepting and no more looking backward or afraid of things. We are too sheltered and maybe that is how the colonialism has taught us. I mean what the white people taught our forefathers. They want us to be afraid. They want us to scare away from development. Stay backwards and not improving.
That got me to remember a meeting with mu mentor. She kind of emphasise on meeting her earlier if i want a remark (because i got B+ for research proposal). I kept telling her its not about remarking, its about improvement! How can i improve? Whats done is done. I cant go back to repair anything. If i did not get an A then it goes to show u dont deserve it in the first place. Even if i beg for an A it would not mean that much anymore. I only have next semester to work on my thesis and that is when i get the chance to improve. And now i need to know how, where and what i did wrong that got me fail to get A.
Anyway i felt unmotivated and even more so without anyone to share it with. I bet everyone else is creating their own data. Only i am stupid enough to do all this.
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