Dumping phd experience here!

Since I'm in my final year of Phd, let's keep a journal and dump everything here for future reading. 

It will be so funny to read back and relive everything. Being full on old people - last time ah... During my time... Long time we ago... That's how old people always starts a conversation.

18/11/2016

I felt numb. After reading the text from the supposed FIL saying the son complaint xda pilihan ke? After my boss gave my pic and said i am berangin. Was it you who wanted to know me. Then you ask xda pilihan? Girls are like chickens in packs you think? 

Luckily i dont put my hope high. Havent told my parents anything yet. I wouldnt want to have someone tak ikhlas like that ever in my life. You can sod off and find others who dont mind being chose by you. 

It hurts. If tak ikhlas then dont ask. Dont ask your sister to ask a person if she wanted to know someone who wants to marry you. I hope my doa will be answered. Allah knows best whats in it for me. 

27/7/2016

I wonder about the mystery of qualitative research that a lot of us researchers are still in the cloud and we do not have a clue. When i heard science people talking about their research i always thought of how easy and simple theirs are since all they have to do is take a bug and grow it and put some meds on it and let it dieor surprisingly   if it grows bigger then it is a success! 

What about those people who studies human's emotions and brain-supposedly not the physical part of the brain- that needs a lot mysterious interpretation not by some simple numbers to determined? Now they dont usually get praised by their finding when they suddenly discovered that human does have brains. Or when human react to something it is because of a trigger that cause them to react that way. And then we can anticipate that reaction. That needs a lot of mindful observation and mysterious brain calculation. 

27/6/2016 Ramadhan

I have come to term with Allah swt that it must be very delighted and the best thing ever to meet Him. He must be the greatest of all. It is like i am super awed being in Disneyland, which is man made, man which was made by Him, it must be super duper awesome to meet the creator of all creators! 

9/5/2016

When facebook becomes my uno numero source of information. How pathetic i am. I do not want to admit to that but i am convinced 95% of my generation looks up facebook for sharing information. Which is good. All the useful sleep information and career advice, lol to that, were from facebook. I openly tell my students to go look for youtube and watch videos there, and unabashedly quoting facebook for information. It is useful because all the links leads to legit websites. Duh. 

21/4/2016

Everything i do seems to be of learning benefit. Watching youtube videos is learning. On culture, language from native speaker, attitude and motivation of people in first world country. How efficient they are. How motivated they are and most importantly they are very authentic. They created things themselves. If we look at Blooms taxonomy had the highest order of conitive function is synthesizing. You create something with a prior knowledge of the specific things. And that is where we should be heading. Creating. Being the creator. 

My mood and motivation to stay in this job is up and down. When i have a lot of pressure from work and people i felt like not doing this. But when i feel a little relax, as today was, i want to stay in this profession. 

Now the biggest problem for me is scholarship since i really want to go study abroad i have to apply for outside scholarship. Hopefully i will. I have an interview with Nottingham people next week. I will answer whatever i have in my mind and throw a few questions to them. Lol! Don't judge. 

8/5/2016

I always wonder How it feels like to be working from home. I guess it must be amazing experience since you will always be at the comfort of your own home but at the same time you will need an abundant of motivation to get you off your seat. I know i will be bumming all day and do nothing other than watch and admire other people's credibility and success and daydreams all day that i will be half successful as they are. 

Then here i am a teacher in a not so well known or top uni. I think my uni is at the number 12 among all uni in Msia currently. Partly because it is new. I wonder what it is like Working at a top uni with creme de la creme student. What will be their style and reaction to knowledge. Do they value it or they look down on it. Do they respect their teachers or undervalue their teachers' knowledge. Will the teachers feel intimidated or proud. I know as a teacher it should not be a problem for whena student starts to challenge your knowledge just know that they are still young and we are all still learning and will always be.