22 July 2022

Was talking to a colleague yesterday and realized I wasn't one to actively seek for information. I would take what's presented to me as is. There may be time that I did google on people, but only when it intrigued me that much. I know people who google others constantly, they said to get ideas for conversations later on or just to know the person. And these 2 people I know are very successful and deemed to be smart, trusted people. 

Maybe I should start being inquisitive, seeing that in this branding aid book I'm currently on it is a good attribute if we know how to use it nicely. Inquisitive is equivalent of being nosy. People may think you are. But twist it around by explaining why you ask all those questions. Yep I think my colleagues did explained when I was looking weird at them when they were googling people casually. I was horrified inside, but play it cool. These people were definitely googling me when I wasn't around. Now that I am here, they'd lose interest and move on. 

15.5.2022

I am not the only one who felt wearing selipar jepun is ugly AF. Had a chat in pantry the other day with a very senior colleague whose been in government sector for over 20 years. She said when first came to this institution, she had keep up appearances with heels and nice clothes. Looking at the higher position people dressing down, wearing slippers in office made her change and being sloppy dressed is the choice now. It's easier and comfy. But ugly. But that's how everyone is anyway. 

I'm conforming to the culture too. Stupid but I'm trying to fit in! Haha. Wrong reason. 

Never thought I'd feel unattached. Distance from my family/home when I lost one parent. Don't feel like spending that much time time anymore, other than my own home. Maybe it just don't feel home anymore. When you lost a mother. I feel content just being by myself. Could be that I'm old enough to only want my own company. Could be I still long for one that I lost. 

14.5.2022