My life is not a big joke

I dont know i am capable of feeling this kind of loneliness anymore. I really thought my life was content. I was so wrong. I feel so empty. Unbearably empty. Intolerably miserable. I am not depressed. I am lonely. I need a family of my own.

Lord knows. I had push down my chances of having my own family one too many times. I might been deprived from it ever again. Lord must be murka on me for putting down a mans hope of having a family with me.

Some people. Some other people are great. But they dont think of me greatly. I am rejected by great people. I feel dissappointed. Too much that i cant even cry.

It made me hard and stubborn.

I love my mum. I love my family. That i know.